Rabbi

Rabbi Nevo & Rebbitzen Tamara Zuckerman 

Rebbitzens Yarchai Kallah Program 

By Rebbitzen Zuckerman 

The impact that each Jew has the opportunity to make on the world is immeasurable.

This week I had the privilege to attend the Rebbitzens Yarchai Kallah sponsored by Yeshiva University. The auspices of my travels fell under the themes of networking and spa treatment. It is true that we were treated to delicious meals and new friendships, but the vast Jewish and secular topics along with the detail of learning experiences throughout the event exceeded my expectations.

As Rebbitzens we are entrenched with the responsibility to guide, educate, and develop our communities. No matter how small or large our communities are, the impressions we leave on are communities are vast. Each of these impressions webs the impact outward, on to the masses of Jews and non-Jews alike exemplifying a positive representation of appreciation for the kindness that Hashem has imprinted on the world around us. Through our verbal and non- verbal actions we exemplify the goodness that Hashem has given this world. We are the Key for our communities to unlock this within themselves and continue the Jewish Messorah (Heritage). What an appreciation I had to be among a dynamic group of women upholding this same responsibility.

The conference reinforced what I already understood my role as Rebbitzen to be. It also allowed me to network with a peer support system. The program emphasized: the importance of respect for the Rabbi and Rebbitzen in their roles, connection between the Rabbi and Rebbitzen, understanding of their family as a unit upon itself, and the importance of that unit establishing refreshment time in order for the Rabbi and Rebbitzen to be the best they possibly can be for the community. These lessons would have been enough yet the program offered so much more.

The learning extended to the Rebbitzens upheld Yeshiva University's dedication to continued education of its constituents. Each session empowered me with a deeper understanding of the topic and the impact this knowledge would have on my application as a Rebbitzen. The topics of study ranged as much as the vastness of our responsibilities. Rabbi Brander extended to us techniques for choosing topics of educational lessons. In doing so he provided formats on presenting the information and references of thousands of materials previously unavailable for source use. This correlated with a speaker series on public speaking by a Yeshiva University representative. Following that Rabbi Dr. Jacob Schacter exemplified these techniques with his presentation of “The Centrality of Jerusalem: History, Halakah (Jewish law) and Hashkafah (religious practice).”

Learning in a course entitled “Blessings and Blindness,” we learned to find the blessing that seemed hidden, and bridged a pathway into professional learning experiences. It became evident to me that every course focused on the Rebbitzens vast roles of support within the community. Each course was a different look at options and perspectives in regards to unique family experiences our congregants have.

Problem solving, support systems and methodologies of facilitation were elements of our course work that offered exemplary lessons of support, to implement for ourselves and others. In-depth courses on abuse, mental illness, supporting families with a child that has special needs, Jewish parenting, divorce, and the use / management of modern technology encompassed our learning. A module was given about how to educate women and families on the laws oftarachat hamishpacha (Family Purity). Each of these courses offered an in-depth look into the support a Rebbitzen or Rabbi could provide to a family in one or more areas.

I offer my appreciation to Yeshiva University for extending me the invitation to attend the Tribute to Rebbitzen Esther Rosenblatt Rennitzens Yarchai Kallah. From my experiences I am able to be a stronger Rebbitzen knowing I have peer support, guided professional leadership and the opportunity to make a positive impact to my community. This is my bit to apply to the world in order to make immeasurable difference.

Now I ask: what can you do to support a difference? Do you feel you can make a difference in a specific element of our community; such as: in our Synagogue, Talmud Torah, or supporting an individual? I am here to help make that match. If you are in need of support, personal growth, or are able to lend a hand, please take a moment to email me, let me know what fits you, where you want to make immeasurable difference in this world. 

Going to a Rabbi

By Rabbi Zuckerman 

It is a wonderful expression of the Torah's community's reverence for Da'at Torah (Learn Torah) that we consult with our Rabbi's before making significant decisions.  I have found, though, that one of the areas where proper hadrachah (guidance) is most needed these days is in the area of getting proper hadrachah. There is a significant amount of confusion and misinformation about how to prepare for, frame, ask, and listen to guidance from a Rav, Moreh (teacher), and a Rav Gadol. And, in this increasingly complex world in which we live, getting proper Da'at Torah (knowledge of Torah) is more important then ever.

Before going to a Rabbi, ask yourself; which of the following am I seeking: a berachah (blessing), a p'sak (halacha ruling), or an eitzah (advice)? 

A berachah is a request for a Rabbi to wish you success in whatever you have already made up your mind to do.

Looking for a p'sak means ascertaining what the halachah requires you to do in a particular instance.

Seeking a eitzah is a highly personalized request for guidance; a very complex procedure.

Seeking a berachah is rather straightforward procedure. You set a time to visit the Rabbi, and inform him what you are about to do: (I am starting a business venture; my daughter is about to become a kallah (wife); we decided to make aliyah). You then ask the Rabbi for a berachah, and upon receiving one, you feel comforted that you have zechut to have a Rabbi bless your actions.

The you ask for a p'sak (halacha ruling) we then follow what the Rabbi has said.  If we don't like the answer we are not allowed to go to another Rabbi to ask the same question.

The quest for an eitzah (advice) is an entirely different matter. In this case, you are asking a Rabbi or a Rav Gadol to advise you which course of action to take when you have two or more halachically and morally permissible options.

It is important to understand that it is appropriate to approach a Rabbi with any of these three thoughts. But it is important for you and the Rabbi to know where you stand, as it will impact your framing of the question; and the eitzah (advise) that you receive from him.

The Rabbi of the Jewish people are wise and perceptive people who have spent years steeped in Torah study. Their guidance reflects no only their personal acumen and experience, but also their Da'at Torah; an expression of their vast Torah knowledge. Their opinion must therefore represent to us how we, as Jews, are expected to act.

On the other hand, their advice is based on the information presented to them, so when we turn to them for guidance, it is up to us to be certain that we properly done our job.

Maintaining a kesher (connection) with one's Rabbi is an obligation on the individual, as the Mishnah clearly states, "Asei l'cha rav" (accept upon yourself a rav) Avot 1:6. Doing so will enable you to get the eitzos (and brachot) you will need as you travel on life's journey and seek to fulfill your dreams.